rocky

im watching rocky and i just saw him drink FIVE raw eggs. and the only thought i had was his farts mustve STUNK!

gifts.

my girlfriend texted me the other day and it said "i bought you a present! i saw it and i knew youd like it!" when i was given the gift, i saw it was a poster with the different types of farts on it. she saw a poster about farting in a store, and thought i liked farting so much that she purchased it, for me. i then questioned my life, with a priest.

break in the awkwardness

a few friends of mine and i were playing basketball with some older, cooler guys who graduated high school about four years prior to us. we were picking teams, and shooting around, and it was for the most part quiet. then one of the older kids let out a long long fart, and there was a slow giggle, which escalated to a crack up. the game continued, with a more light mood from that point onward.

Party fart

I was at a party the other night, and I was talking to this girl. She was very attractive.

She wanted to change the song, and asked me to come with her and her huge breasts to the speakers.

We crouched down, and the crouching-action made my butt hole open so wide, there was no way I could prevent the escape of serious air. The fart startled me, so to cover up the sound, I yelled, "HEY!!!" right in the girl's ear.

She didn't know I farted, but from then on she thought I was retarded. My Dad is gay.

Gay Fart

I'm sitting on my couch, and my friend just got up, flamboyantly farted, and then smiled at me with an air of a sense of accomplishment.

I called him out for what he truly is. Not a gifted farter, but rather an ungifted faggot.

That wiped the fucking smile off his face.

Delta Chi Fart.

One morning, a friend of a friend of mine was very hungover, sitting in his dorm room playing Fifa, and another friend came in, ninja jumped onto the couch, and farted directly in the face of the one playing the videogames. The fart was so potent that it caused the farted-on-one to vomit on himself. Sucks man.

aftershocks

you ever notice...that when you fart once, normally smaller, shorter farts follow, like the aftershocks of an earthquake....its crazy, they are rarely mentioned, but come about 87% of the time. aftershock farts. yerp.