coming in handy

My hallway in my apartment building smelled strongly of latex, why i dont know. So to mask the gross smell, i forced out a fart. whatever. it worked. temporarily.

Machine Gun

What is funnier than a machine gun fart? Everyone knows what it is. The tight pitched, repeating, firing fart that almost rolls off the tongue. but instead of rolling off your tongue, it rolls out your ass. Often it takes a couple seconds to get going, but then it gains momentum, and hilarity ensues. I just had one. They seem to work even better on hard, flat surfaces. A wooden chair is always a reliable boom box for your machine gun farts. I have a friend who is really good at them. Theres a lot of good things about him but I'm most jealous of his machine gun fart prowess

Just Woke Up...

Which for some reason is a prime time for farting. I don't know why, maybe the way you lay all night and then you stand up the gas just wants to exit your ass. Well im sitting on a wooden chair and it was just real loud, real funny. Hard surfaces are the best. Especially sports benches. I can't stop laughing at this one.

Shower Farting

I love farting in the shower for many reasons. I feel like I've become really good at it. I can control how much I push out and sometimes even control the pitch, much like a trumpet player. A trumpet player that steps on ducks, actually. Does anyone know why farts smell so much better in the shower? Anyway, today, a few seconds ago, I let one rip slowly at first then finishing loudly. It smelled sweet and strong. Definite carrot and grape flavors in my nostrils. I don't know why everything is better in the shower: sex, farting, eating, etc. I wish I was in the shower right now...

Hey!

This is a blog about great farts you've had. Feel free to post, the email address is tua77344@temple.edu and the password is farting1. this is a forum to talk about farts. especially ones you let rip in public.